rethinking things + getting on the first train home.

this one's been rolling around in my head for a while, but hearing imogen heap's "first train home" on my run this morning sort of brought it all together.
[i'm not a sold out imogen heap fan, so please don't write me off yet]

i've been thinking about my goals. not big goals, just the small day-to-day subconscious ones that i'm slowly becoming conscious of. so i'm going to take a step of vulnerability and share what i think my goals were two months ago, when we returned from our honeymoon and i moved to lebanon [landon was already here], and how they've changed since.

goals as of [roughly] august 6, 2010:

interior design goals: decorate ASAP regardless of cost. obsess over throw pillows. cover walls. 

personal style goals: ugh, my closet. new clothes, please? dress for the job you want, right?

employment goals: find a job.

marriage goals: we've got at least a year of bliss before reality sets in, right?

personal finance goals: shoot. student loans. let's get those paid off.

*between august 6 and september 6, reality sets in*

goals as of [roughly] september 6, 2010:

interior design goals: hmmm, maybe that "regardless of cost" thing isn't going to work. save up slowly, still obsess over throw pillows, and blog about things i want to buy can't afford. that way i'll feel like i've done something with them.

personal style goals: get creative. again, blog about things rather than buying them. 

employment goals: FIND A JOB.

marriage goals: bliss is for dummies. life is real, but it's so good. begin to devour love and respect.

personal finance goals: enroll in financial peace university. get creative.

*between september 6 and october 6, the lightbulb goes off. during the service at door of hope on sunday night, i started thinking about my life, and that's where i became conscious that these little day-to-day goals were taking hold in my mind. not that they're all bad, but in some cases, my motives were poor. it was all for me. the sermon was [to put it generally] about aligning ourselves with God's plan rather than the world's, and how easy it is to follow the world in attempt to gain the approval of those around us. with that, i decided it was high time i rework my goals.*

my new goals as of october 6, 2010 are as follows:

interior design: be hospitable, and create a home where anyone who enters feels comfortable, welcomed and loved.

personal style goals: look and be approachable.

employment goals: never stop thanking God for the gift of a job.

marriage goals: pray continuously. love. continue to devour love and respect.

personal finance goals: be a true steward of God's resources [our fpu class leader said yesterday, "God has a plan for us, but do we have a plan for God's money?"]. 
also, RED ALERT: STUDENT LOANS...ATTACK, HIYAAAAA!

so with that, i'm hoping on "the first train home" to a place where i'm in communion with my creator. 

admittedly, it's been a while, and, as imogen says, 

i want to get on with getting on with things, 

i want to run in fields, paint the kitchen, and love someone

...first train home, i've got to get on it...