What do you expect of yourself? Do you ever get caught up in thinking that one day you'll have it all together? That one day you'll buy a gorgeous silk chiffon dress (because you have the money) in a color that flatters your sun-kissed skin and frolic through a meadow for an afternoon (because your to-do list was completed ages ago and you have nothing else to do!)? Maybe that's an exaggeration.
Do you ever think that one weekend, you really will finish doing every DIY that you've pinned? Or at least half? Or at least one?
Sometimes I picture myself as having it all together. That we'll follow Dave Ramsey perfectly and this college debt will be paid off in no time, all the while eating kale chips for a snack and caramelized onion galettes for dinner. Oh, and we'll also have an adorable red-headed little girl who has curls like her mama and a little boy with legs like a Kenyan (he'll win the NCAA Division I XC championships, too). At that point, Landon and I will have also written a book on marriage because we're perfect to each other and can't help but get the word out. Also, my hair will no longer be frizzy. And Landon will have learned that as far as cream cheese go, Philadelphia is worth the extra .75 cents.
And you know what the truth is? We'll follow Dave Ramsey, my cooking will improve, we'll have some kids (Lord willing) and we'll continue to learn about each other and each other's cream cheese preferences (my hair, however, probably won't change).
The thing is, that first lifestyle sounds great to me when I find a stain on both pairs of my khaki pants in the same week, when I overdose on cheez-its and when Landon comes home with whipped/stabilized/corn-starched/off-brand cream cheese. But last night I spent some time sitting in a room with the lights off, candles burning and The Weepies playing (cliche, I know, but it does wonders for the soul). Is that really what I want? Nope. And even if I did, I'll never have perfection, so it's best to give up now.
Because you know what's better? Being present. Trusting that my imperfect life will be more pleasing to God and more rewarding to me than an attempt to live a perfect one without Him. The great thing is that God is perfect so that we don't have to be. So forget frolicking, I'd rather have a toasted bagel with stabilized cream cheese.
xoxo.
2 comments:
Oh how I miss you, Katie!! I love getting to hear your perspective and wish to be sitting with you with candles, chatting away. Love you!
oh my. how is there only ONE comment on this? this is beautiful and very, VERY true. sometimes i look at blogs, and i think "how does this girl's hair look perfectly coiffed? how do these people have time to make lasagna with homemade noodles for dinner? and how in the WORLD do they do any sort of errand wearing heels?" such simple, honest truth in this post. thank you.
Post a Comment