surrender.

I've struggled with this word. Surrender. It's passed my lips countless times, and I'm just now discovering what (I think) it means to surrender. I've sang that I surrender all to you, and I've always assumed that surrender comes after brokenness. That to truly surrender, I had to first figure out some sort of self-inflicted pain to make me really feel like giving it all to God. Or that I had to first experience everything that I considered important before I'd be ready to give it up. In other words, surrender was equated with giving up. Reaching an end. Hitting a breaking point. Only then could true surrender happen. Meanwhile, I would sing the words and feel guilty that I wasn't there yet.

But I think God is showing me another path. He's showing me that in faith, we put everything on the table. Everything from my love affair with cake plates to the deepest, darkest parts of my soul. My politics, my earthly desires, my idealism, God can have it all. Our future, our finances, everything is His. I put it all on the table. And, in His perfect way, God will take each part of my life, and He will mold, shape, and even break those things to bring them closer to what He desires for me. And so I don't give up, instead I'm giving over, and I'll let God do the breaking.

xoxo.

Thoughts sparked by a recent sermon by my dad - Decided in the Heart (9/9/12)